Wonder

Beautiful Eyes

My youngest grandchild, Brendan. 

6 months old.

His eyes are so expressive. 

I'm entering this in the I Heart Faces Photo Challenge "Beautiful Eyes"

To Say Goodbye

To say Goodbye to a loved one is hard.

In May, I visited my dad for the last time, to say goodbye.

He was in the last stages of Melanoma and I knew I should to go see him.

I wish I hadn't. 

He'd had radiation on his brain 6 months prior and never recovered. I hate cancer and I hate radiation.

I want to remember him un-sick and able to hear and able to understand and able to communicate. 

I want to remember him without that damn tumor coming out of his arm. 

I want to remember him with his guitar, so comfortable in his hands and singing whatever song he'd just learned.... instead of holding it and not knowing what to do with it.

I want to remember him the way he was....my dad... strong, stubborn, witty, happy, loving, friendly.

Instead, I have a sad, horrible image in my mind. 

I hope, with time, that image fades.

I wanted, just one more time, to hear him sing. He was so relaxed and at ease when he sang... and played his guitar. I sing, but I still get so nervous when I do. Maybe one day, I'll have his gift.

We had many ups and downs throughout the years. 

Divorce, remarriage, jealousy, misunderstandings and life was hard on our relationship, but we had many chats and discussions which got us to a good place. 

He admitted things to me I really didn't want to hear... but I listened. 

In his own way, he appologized, with tears in his eyes, for my sisters and my sad upbringing.

I saw a side of my dad I hadn't known was there. 

For that, I am thankful.

He loved me. He told me he did. I needed to hear it and I believe him.

I miss him.

He passed a month and a week after I visited him.

I'm glad he's in a better place, painfree... 

but I sure miss him.

RIP, Daddy.

Jada Rian

Out in the yard,

Up in the tree,

Climbing the monkeybars,

"Grandma, Grandma,

 look at me!"

                              This photo was submitted to the 

I Heart Faces 

Photo Challenge "FRAMED"

What is Facebook to you?

Today, as her Facebook status, my friend posted this question:

"Should Facebook be a blog of your life?
Shouldn't it be of what is your true feelings.
What your day is like?
Not a bunch of fake smiles, when at the time your heart is breaking?"

I think if those are the things you write about on Facebook, it is a blog of your life.
If you want it to be your journal, make it your journal.
There is no "right or wrong".
Some complain if you put too much "out there" for others to read.
Some complain if you don't put enough.
We all have the option to read, hide or ignore the post's of others on Facebook.
I actually like to read about what is going on in other people's lives.

If you want to express your sadness, do it.
If you want to express your happiness, do it.
If you want to express jealousy, do it.
If you want to express your anger, do it.
If you want to lie about something, do it.
If you want to poke fun about someone or something, do it.
If you want to gossip, do it.
If you wan to post "in your face" stuff to hurt someone, do it.
If you're having a crappy day (or life) but want everyone to think your life is perfect, GO FOR IT.. knock yourself out... make it a good story.

The thing is... YOU are in control of your Facebook page and what you choose to post on it.
If you want people to know how you're truly feeling, then post it.
Don't hold back because "someone" might not like what you have to say.
Screw 'em!  If they don't like what you have to say, they don't have to read it.

Don't let Facebook define your life... it's not a script.
It shouldn't be the only lifeline we have with others, either.

Bottom line... your Facebook page is yours...
Make it what you want.

Brooch Bouquet

    I've admired Brooch Bouquets for awhile and was excited and honored when Bride, Ashley, asked me to make hers.
    She collected many brooches, pendants and earrings from family and friends and she purchased a few. I purchased a few for her, as well. We ended up with approximately 70 total in her bouquet which weighed close to 3 pounds !   
     Ashley had a couple of special
touches in her bouquet. A small photo of her deceased mom and a ring that had also belonged to her.
    We added the initials of Ashley and her groom, Jered, as 
well as all of the items given to her from everyone.
    I waited until the day of her wedding to present it to her. It turned out exactly as she wanted.

                                                                    Photo by 3 Winks Photography

                                                                                                                  

JACKSUN JACOB PHOTO SHOOT

We had a wonderful visit with our new grandson, Jacksun, today.

His momma and I had a fun little photo shoot with him.

His little toes sticking out of the cocoon are too cute

He was so snuggly in his little stocking cap and cocoon.

No Explanation

A few things in life that need no explanation are:

Love,

Happiness,

Sunshine,

Flowers,

and

BABY TOES

These precious toes belong to our new grandson,

Jacksun Jacob McIntosh

born April 1, 2012

Holding On

Today, I spent a few hours with my middle grandchild, Gavin.

I took note of some things about him.

He still reaches up to hold my hand and as he does, I hold his a little tighter.

He still sits next to me and fiddles with my hair, just as he has since he was a baby.

He still gets a snuggle in now and then and asks to come visit again.

He still gives me hugs and when he does, I hold him a little bit longer.

He's still seven years old, but soon will be eight.

I know one day some of these things will come to an end... 

"It's just not cool when you get older, Grandma, like when you're 9 or 10. But, I will still love you".

I'll hold on to that.... 

In my Heart....

                    ....Forever

Wedding season coming up

Wedding season is approaching and I'm helping with three !!
This arbor is one I made for my st-daughter's wedding 4 years ago, and we've used it in two weddings since.
It's a simple bamboo pole arbor with flowing white fabric. Then decorated with flowers of choice.
It was fun to make and fun to use.

Today

Today I asked God for something I've never asked Him for. 
A Pastor friend told us we are supposed to be specific when we ask for something. 
It feels a bit "wrong" to ask.
Today I was specific. 


Today I received an email from my estranged brother which read: " I don't know why but something just told me to let you know that I love you....Take care..."
It makes me wonder if something is going to happen to me, a family member, or friend. 
Today I won't worry, but I'll sure wonder.


Today I tried to explain to a friend to not feel guilty about things beyond her control.
I've lived a life filled with guilty feelings for my beliefs and decisions.
Feeling guilty doesn't change anything, it just creates stress for yourself and those around you.
Today I'm learning to accept my thoughts, feelings and beliefs.


Today I'll call my sister. 
She's called and left several messages and I've just not gotten back to her.
I don't want to ever feel the loneliness I felt when she wasn't in my life.
Today I'll call my sister.


Today a friend is saying goodbye to his wife. 
She will pass soon after a sudden health issue.
He is on my mind and heart.
Today I'll pray for his peace.


Today I'll make it a good day.
I'll not take things for granted.
I'll tell others what they mean to me.
Today I'll try to better someone's day.


Today I'll Thank God for things He has given me...
and I didn't even have to ask.

For Jada

I love hands.
My Grandma Clemence had awesome hands. When I think about how they looked, it brings a smile to my face and a calm thought to my mind.
Her hands weren't especially beautiful, but to me they were perfect. Tanned from too much sun, a bit of dirt under her fingernails, a scar from an unattended injury... but soft enough to lightly brush a touch of love across my cheek.
I don't think her hands were ever idle.
One of her favorite things to do (besides fishing) was playing Yahtzee. A favorite photo of her was taken across the Yahtzee table from me. With her elbows resting on the table, her hands are folded up near her chin. I love this photo.
As I cook, garden, type, sew, or touch the faces of my grandchildren, I like to think one day they might look back and think about my hands the same as I do about Grandma's hands.
Recently, as I sewed a dress for my granddaughter, I decided to take a picture for her....of my hand at the machine.

 I hope it brings a smile to her face and a calm thought to her mind.

Hands of Time

Old or new, our hands show the measure of time.

Grandma holding her first grandchild's hand.

I'm linking this to Life With My 3 Boybarians Sweet Shot Tuesday

My Grandma

Her job as daughter, sister, mom, aunt, grandma, gr-grandma, gr.gr-grandma, friend, etc......is finished.


My beautiful,wonderful, loving grandma passed away Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at the age of 99 1/2 years old.


Grandma has always been the person I hoped to be like. I don't think I've achieved that, but I'm still working on it. She was happy, calm and had a very positive attitude toward life. 


I already miss her and wish I could have said goodbye, but I'm so happy she's up there dancing, again, with Grandpa. She's been waiting to do that for 30 years.


Rest in Peace, Grandma. I'm a lucky lucky girl to have had you as my grandma and I will miss you terribly.
You were a wonderful, wonderful person on this earth and you'll be a beautiful addition to Heaven.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

  Since it's Father's Day, I'll write an entry about my dad.

     Leo Elvin Butterfield. My Dad.

     His dad was Leo Sumner Butterfield, so my dad goes by Elvin.

     To me, he's always been Daddy. Even at 53 years of age, I say Daddy when I talk to him or refer to him. I've always called him that.

     Always will.

     I have memories that are more like moments. I suppose most memories are that way, but I'll describe mine that way, since I didn't have the typical "Little Girl and Her Daddy" relationship I would have loved to and deserved to have.

     Our "moments" were when things were calm in our household.                            Although, I have a few memories of the upsetting times, as well, I won't write about them.

     My dad worked in a lumber mill. As far as I know, he began his lumber mill career at an early age.

     I remember him coming home at lunch time and I can still sense the smell of his clothes.. his sweat and the sawdust from the lumber. The combination of the two is a mixture of calm.

Daddy came home each day for lunch and we all sat down for sandwiches. He usually had Braunschweiger (ugh !) on crackers with mayonaise or on a sandwich. I remember the slices of this liver sausage had the plastic sleeve on them and you had to peel it off before eating it. He loved the stuff... I think it's disgusting.

     As a very young toddler, my dad was granted custody of my older sister and I. We were raised by him and my step-mom till I was 12 and my sister was 14.

     Part of the time, things were "normal". Other times, things were bi-polar. I don't know how my dad stayed all those years, except for the fact that he had 3 biological and 2 step-children to raise and he believed in taking care of his family.

     That aside...

     My dad was a musician on weekends. He formed a country western band with several buddies and once a month or so, they gathered at our house for practice.

     Oh, we kids loved those nights.

In our small living room, there was a drum set, a steel guitar, a lead guitar and a bass guitar with musicians behind each one.

     Singing, we kids danced and got to stay up late. The adults smoked cigarettes in the house, drank mixed drinks and laughed and sometimes danced. The neighbors came... it was like a party... only it was band practice.

     I still love classic country music.

     I'm sure there are alot of typical things I don't remember, but the ones that were special to me were when I got to do things with my dad that none of the other kids did.

     We got whole milk from our neighbor up the hill. I don't know how often, but Daddy and I walked to their house to get the gallon jar of milk. I loved doing that. I remember seeing that jar of fresh milk with a layer of cream a couple inches thick. I'm sure Daddy teased me as we walked to and from ... he is a teaser like my grandpa was (and I am, now).

      I always thought my dad was a "que sera sera" type person. As I've aged and seem to have gotten to know him more, I realize he is a person who just doesn't voice much about things. He forms his feelings, but is confident enough to hold those feelings as his own.

      He and I have had a few wonderful talks in the last few years and I understand him more and more. I wish we could have known each other better earlier on and he wishes the same. But, it is what it is, and we can only live for now.

       Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

       I love you and I am a lucky girl.
**********************************************************************************

Smile

Another Smile from our Jada-Bug.

This child brings so much joy to us. 

She is ornery, happy, stubborn, fun, sweet, sour... we wouldn't want her any other way !!

I"m linking this to Live Every Moment 's photo challenge: Smile

Beauty

I love having shots like this turn out. 

I'm experiencing with the macro shots.... 

I'm linking this to Blogging From Bolivia 's Macro Friday

And I'm linking this to McDougall Photography 's Fabulous Friday

MOSS

I think these little moss blossoms are adorable. 

I think they're having a cocktail party.

 Lot's of gossip going on

I'm linking this to pullingmymaskoff 's photo challenge "Multiple"

I'm linking this to Life With My 3 Boybarians Sweet Shot Tuesday

     

          

SIMPLE

At the end of a day

of playdoh and stickers,

a simple doll stands alone.

The little girl who left her there

is already on her way home.

Bella

I'm having fun with new shots of my new baby Bella.